Therapy can feel like a mystery if you’ve never been before. You sit down, spill your thoughts to a stranger, and somehow—through a mix of talking, reflecting, and probably some awkward silences—you’re supposed to feel better. But if you’re new to therapy, you might wonder: Is this normal? Am I doing this right?
Spoiler alert: You are. Therapy is a process, and like anything worthwhile, it comes with some unexpected yet completely normal experiences. Let’s break down a few things that might catch you off guard but are actually a sign that you’re on the right track.
1. The First Few Sessions Might Feel… Weird
Starting therapy can feel a little like a first date—except the other person already knows you’re here to talk about your deepest thoughts and struggles. It takes time to build trust with your therapist. At first, you might leave feeling unsure, like, Did I say too much? Did I say enough? That’s completely normal. Therapy works best when you feel safe, and that comfort grows over time.
2. You Won’t Always Have Big, Life-Changing Insights
Movies make it seem like therapy is all about dramatic breakthroughs—where you suddenly realize Oh, my fear of commitment comes from that time in third grade when I forgot my lunch and no one shared with me. But in reality, therapy is often about small shifts that build up over time. Some sessions might feel profound, while others might feel like you just talked about your week. Both are valuable. Growth isn’t always a lightning bolt moment—it’s more like planting seeds and watching them grow.
3. You Might Not Know What to Talk About Sometimes
There may be days when you walk into therapy and think, I have nothing to say today. That’s normal. Therapy isn’t just for the big life crises—it’s also for the in-between moments, the subtle stressors, and the feelings you can’t quite name yet. If you ever feel stuck, your therapist will help guide the conversation. Even silence in therapy can be productive (though, yes, it might feel awkward at first).
4. You’ll Probably Cry at Some Point (Even If You Don’t Expect To)
Even if you’re not a crier, therapy has a way of bringing emotions to the surface. Sometimes you’ll cry over something deep and meaningful. Other times, you’ll cry because your therapist says something unexpectedly kind, and your brain short-circuits. It’s all part of the process, and there’s no right or wrong way to express emotions in therapy.
5. You Might Leave Feeling Worse Before You Feel Better
Therapy isn’t always immediate relief. Sometimes, talking about difficult topics can make you feel raw, like reopening an old wound. But just like cleaning a cut before it heals, addressing uncomfortable emotions is part of the process. Feeling worse before feeling better is actually a sign that you’re working through things instead of avoiding them.
6. Not Every Therapist Will Be the Right Fit—And That’s Okay
Your therapist might be wonderful and skilled, but if you don’t feel comfortable opening up to them, it’s okay to find someone else. Therapy is a relationship, and sometimes personalities just don’t click. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you—it just means you haven’t found the right fit yet. A good therapist won’t take it personally if you decide to switch.
7. You’ll Start Noticing Therapy-Inspired Thoughts in Everyday Life
At some point, you’ll catch yourself thinking, My therapist would totally ask me how I’m feeling about this or I think this situation is triggering my perfectionism. That’s therapy doing its job. The goal isn’t to keep you in therapy forever—it’s to help you build self-awareness and skills that you can take with you outside of sessions.
Therapy Is Messy, But That’s the Point
Therapy isn’t a straight road to happiness—it’s a winding path with detours, speed bumps, and the occasional unexpected emotional pothole. But everything you experience in therapy, even the confusing or uncomfortable parts, is part of the process. If you ever find yourself wondering Is this normal? the answer is probably yes.
And if you stick with it, you might just find that the things that once felt weird or uncomfortable start to feel like growth.
